A Liberating Thought

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.
James Baldwin

There’s all kinds of heartbreak in this world. There’s the predictable romantic heartbreak captured in movies, and the deeper relational heartbreak too devastating for a romcom. There’s the pain of grief when someone we love dies, and the crushing loss we feel when dreams don’t come true. And then there’s spiritual heartbreak when our beloved beliefs begin to crumble.

Perhaps, we’ve just outgrown our faith instead of growing into it, and so we look around to find a better fit. But if we’ve been hurt, betrayed, abused or damaged by the beliefs or community that was supposed to keep us safe, well that’s another thing altogether. We might not want to risk heartache again. We’re all out of trust and beyond the grasp of faith. It’s understandable.

I tried hiding away with heartache. I had suffered one terrible loss after another. Weary from doctrine, theology, and empty hearted platitudes, I withdrew and began to pray for myself and my family. Then I started to pray for anyone, anywhere, living with grief. This led me to think of those, now gone, who had lived with loss. I prayed for them too and for their beloveds. My prayers were getting longer. It seemed that grief was not mine alone.

What does it take to liberate the precious love we’ve locked inside ourselves for safety’s sake? The answer to this question probably varies from person to person, but one thing is true: those life altering events, losses, and challenges that torment us can also connect us to one another. It’s a testimony to our shared humanity, and the inescapable price of living in this world where love can become grief and grief can become compassion. What a liberating thought.

~Lisa Kiel