Listening to Our Innermost Self

There is a room that is called the quietest room on earth in a laboratory in Minnesota. It is completely covered in the highest quality acoustic tiles and is a cube suspended inside another cube with springs that reduce outside noises. Even the floor is a suspended mesh over even more acoustic panels. Essentially, when you are inside you experience negative sound.

People who have spent time inside have experienced having their hearing so extremely augmented that they can hear their own blood pumping, lungs breathing, and even their eyes blinking. 

I have never had the opportunity to be in this room, so I can only speculate about the experience from reading other’s accounts. But it seems to be a very impactful experience.

Have you ever been in a loud room and moved away into a quieter one? Have you felt the ringing in your ears? Not heard, but viscerally felt that ringing in your head?

It’s disorienting. 

That’s something most people who have been in the quietest room on earth say. It is disorienting. Able bodied people who plan to spend more than 20 minutes in the room are heavily encouraged to bring a chair with them due to the disorienting and physically dizzying effect of hearing nothing outside of yourself.

Deeply listening to nothing other than the small room of air and your own biological machine.

Deep listening.

Cover your ears as tightly as you can. What can you hear? Do you experience the overwhelming loudness of yourself?

What is inside of you that you don’t always allow yourself to hear? Can you listen deeply to your innermost self? What do you have to communicate?

~Aline Harris

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Is This A Task?

This past weekend I was struck with a very harsh reality from my family. As we sat down for breakfast Saturday morning I asked if they would be OK if I wrote that morning…. And that invited a deep conversation where my family told me they were worried about me and that they felt they were a task to be placed on my calendar.

In the entire discussion, I sat and listened to them as they expressed their concerns. One was that I don’t look happy when I’m doing the work of the congregation. Another concern was that I look exhausted and tired when I come home, like the church work I do is a chore. But the one that struck me and made me think was that they felt like they were a task. 

I’ve been sitting on this for several days, I don’t want them to feel like a task. Listening deeply to them I want them to be able to come to me and plan things spontaneously, and also know and recognize that the things I do for the congregation I do out of love that these programs and events don’t fade away with no one to plan and organize them. 

This also got me to think deeply about the congregation. Maybe; just maybe, these programs and events need to fall to the wayside if no one is willing to step forward and take them on. Is this the deep listening to the congregation that we need to move into the future on fundraisers and events? Do some things that aren’t as intensive in planning and organizing need to arise? These are questions that I ask myself and although I haven’t asked others, the answer seems to be there.

My family, friends, the congregation, they are not tasks to me. I love doing the work. I don’t love doing the work alone… and now the deep listening comes to me. I’m also not a task, I am not a task for others or myself. I love to help. I love to do things for people, but I don’t love doing it alone, which I do often (unfortunately by my own devices as I get embarrassed to ask others for help). 

I’m working on asking for help, delegating and reminding myself to ask “is this a task for me?”

Candice Carver

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What Was That Noise?

Driving around the other day, I was hurrying from one errand to the next when a small voice from the car seat in the back spoke up, “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That noise”
“What noise?”
clink
“That noise”
“I think that was the handle of that metal bucket clinking against the bucket.” I replied as we drove over a small bump in the road.
“That was the bucket,” she repeated, letting herself know what the noise was.
clink
“That was the bucket,” she told me. She didn’t want me to worry about what that sound was. That sound that I hadn’t even heard until she had pointed it out.
What else was I missing?


“What was that noise?”
“Was it the bucket?”
“No! The other noise!”
I tried to hear past the sound of the air conditioner, the low hum of the motor, and of course, the metal bucket.
There was someone mowing their lawn nearby. There was a loud motorcycle passing through. There was the rhythmic click of the blinker. Even the sound of my own deep breathing as I dealt with a preschooler’s relentless curiosity. So many noises I had been ignoring.


What noises have you been ignoring?
Just for a moment, think like a preschooler. What is that noise? What about that one? What else can you hear when you are deeply listening?

~Aline Harris

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The Practice of Deep Listening Embodied in Unitarian Universalism

Since coming to Unitarian Universalism, I have heard the constant drum beat of love, justice,
compassion, and a search for truth and meaning. As I travel on my spiritual journey, it makes total sense that I am here now. The peace festival we held listened to Unitarian Universalism’s historic principles and sources:

The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.


The festival’s problem-solving workshops listened for the source of:

Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront
powers and structures evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming
power of love.


Listening to the belief systems of spiritual leaders our pods absorbed:


Wisdom from the world’s religions which inspires us in our ethical and
spiritual life.


The foundation of peace will be to enable moral leadership guided by:

Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God’s love by
loving our neighbors as ourselves.


I am proud of the courageous Unitarian Universalist social change
champions such as suffragist Susan B Anthony, civil rights leader Whitney
Young, diplomat Adlai Stevenson, and American Red Cross founder Clara
Barton. I dream that UUCG will listen and blaze a unique and effective path to
peace.

~Bruce Leonard

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How Could Anyone?

I remember the first time I ever saw, heard and sang the hymn, How Could Anyone, from our Singing the Journey hymnal by Libby Roderick.

How could anyone ever tell you–
You were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you
You were less than whole?
How could anyone fail to notice–
That your loving is a miracle?
How deeply you’re connected to my soul.

It was over 15 years ago, and I can still remember how suddenly the tears filled my eyes, how I couldn’t sing because of the feelings running through my heart and body. 

If we listen deeply to our bodies, they will tell us what we are carrying around. There have been monumental studies demonstrating how powerfully and accurately our bodies hold the memory of our experiences, the highest joys and the most devastating of sorrows, trauma and grief. They hold even and especially memories of events that we no longer can recall with our minds. And, they will show us if we listen deeply.

The day we first sang that song at UUCG, no particular memory came to mind for me, but the emotion and feeling certainly did. I was immediately not only resonating with what it feels like to be told that I am less than whole, but I recalled stories that others have shared with me of the same wounding messages they had received. I am afraid that it is a truth about human experience–so far–that we are wounded as we grow up, and unless we learn another way, we become those who wound others, in turn. 

When we listen to our deep wounds, I think they can become a kind of spiritual radar–tuning us into the wounds in others. When our listening brings us into proximity with another wounded soul, that’s where the miracle of our loving connects us, soul to soul. 

Listening to our wounds draw us close.
Loving connects us.
Healing begins. 

~Bob Patrick

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Inner Voice

Thursday, October 10, 2024 was World Mental Health Day. Ever since the COVID
pandemic opened new doors to conversations about mental health, we have discovered
just what isolation does to the human mind, body and soul. The pain of that isolation is
still palpable in my mind and heart even at present.

For the majority of the pandemic time frame I had only myself and my cat Benny for company outside of Zoom meetings and fast food drive-thrus with a mask and hand sanitizer on the ready. Reading that now makes me chuckle, but at the time it was no laughing matter. As painful as it was to not receive hugs and hold hands with my supporters, I learned a lesson in a most difficult yet profound way: I had to learn to comfort myself.

It took most of the duration of the pandemic and many weepy phone calls with supporters to realize that I could utilize my inner voice to soothe and comfort myself when others were not available or able to.

Self-care is an important aspect of mental health for the simple reason that we can only
carry what we can hold for any given moment- our own pain, and that of others and the
world as well. I am still learning to practice deep listening to my inner voice in moments
of emotional turbulence. Sometimes I do need to reach out; just being heard makes the
pain less of a mountain to being a more manageable molehill. But I am discovering that
I can also give that coaching to myself. Deep listening to our own souls is not only a
survival skill, it’s a way of getting to know ourselves, giving our lives richer meaning, and
thus true healing.

~Jen Garrison

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Deeper Listening

As we consider the practice of deep listening, it might be a clearer practice if we focused on “deeper” listening, allowing ourselves to take steps into deeper, and deeper listening.

In terms of hearing sounds, if our ears work well enough, we are always capable of hearing sounds. Deeper listening means that we pause whatever has our attention, and focus on the actual sounds we perceive right now.

When we become aware of specific sounds, deeper listening invites us to consider the context of those sounds. Are they expected or unexpected for the context, and based on that place in context, what do they communicate to us?

When the context of sounds begin to send messages to us, deeper listening invites curiosity about the meaning those messages hold for us.

When deeper listening brings sounds into focus and we begin to hear them in context, and the context begins to communicate messages to us, and the meaning of the messages begin to move us into some way or another–we have moved into deeper listening. In fact, maybe at this point, we are on the verge of deep listening. 

That original sound might be the sound of wind blowing through the trees (actual sounds), which I notice in my neighborhood on a day that I didn’t expect to be windy (context with communication). As the wind blows, I see more and more leaves falling from the trees, and there is the subtle message: fall really is upon us. The temperatures are getting cooler. Look at those beautiful colors. The seasons are changing. This is the time of year that many of my relatives and friends have birthdays (messages being sent). I spend some time thinking about them, remembering those who have passed away. Feelings of relationships past and present surface, and a sense of where I fit into them arises (meaning).

Deeper listening can start with the very next sound that we hear.

~Bob Patrick

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