One of the earliest truly impactful moments of generosity in my life came from my high school sophomore language arts teacher, Ms. Huie. I struggled very much in high school with depression and anxiety, and I was suicidal from the beginning of freshman year through most of sophomore year. As you can imagine, school and grades didn’t matter much to me at the time. I thought: what’s the point? If I didn’t plan to be around a whole lot longer, it didn’t make much sense to concern myself with something I thought would only benefit a non-existent future self.
Ms. Huie’s class ignited something within me though, and for the first time in a while, I felt myself really trying to do well in her class. I found that the creative writing assignments she gave were truly therapeutic for me, when no therapist at that point had gotten through to me. Through short stories and poetry, I was able to express the dark and vulnerable parts of myself, and she praised my writing. I continued to struggle to put real effort into assignments that I wasn’t as interested in, though.
One day, after I presented a project I hadn’t given enough thought, time, and attention toward, she asked me to stay late and have a chat with her. I was nervous that she was going to tell me that she was disappointed in me – which she did. But she followed that by telling me she knew I could do so much better. She was gentle, kind, and empathetic. She gave me her time and attention to let me know that she saw through the “I don’t care” to the “I’m hurting.” She gave me the guidance and the spark I needed to turn my grades around (not just in her class, but in all of my classes from that point forward). This, in turn, helped me to set myself up for a future that I’m so happy and grateful to have.
I have never had the chance to thank Ms. Huie for her generosity of spirit, but my sincere appreciation goes out to her and to all teachers who take the time to truly try to understand their students, and who show compassion to those who are struggling.
~Jenn Yi
Thank you for sharing this Jen. We all struggle and yet we don’t feel we can talk about it much. Grateful to know there was someone in your life that didn’t give up on you when you needed them
Thank you, Lydia! I think that fear of talking about it is what makes some struggles so dangerous. I have found the more I talk about it, the more normalized it becomes – the more we realize that not a single one of us is alone in our struggles.
This is a very sensitive story. I would like to think that I was able to make connections with students . There is so much going on in each class, each period, each semester, each year. The teacher that goes beyond curriculum, that can see through their heart can give a customized gift to those ready and willing to respond. You were given a gift from your Language Arts teacher. I was given a gift from my art teacher. The gift is permission to be yourself and amplify who you are through the the arts: By finding your personal authenticity, by developing a personal Style. I’m so glad you have come through the big Rough Patch and are here with us, Authentic and Whole.
Thank you, Katrina! I’m happy to have made it through that time of my life, too! Experiencing that was truly transformative. I’m glad to hear you had a similar gift of generosity from your art teacher, and I’m sure you made more impact than you know with your connections with your students!