Somewhere, early in life, a longing rises up within us. We long to have a people who are our people, a language that is our language, places that we see and know immediately as our places, a philosophy of life that represents how we see things, that is our philosophy. We end up calling those things by a variety of popular tags: our tribe, our bros, our lingo, home and ‘hood, ideology, politics or even brand. They are all potential elements of belonging. And yet.
All of these potential elements of belonging can be twisted into something far less than true belonging. They can be turned into conditions of acceptance, dues to be paid for membership in the club, measures of who is in and who is out.
Our longing for community is so powerful that it can drive us to join groups, relationships, or systems of belief that give a false impression of belonging. These places of false belonging grant us conditional membership, requiring us to cut parts of ourselves off in order to fit in.
Toko-Pa Turner
The words “longing” and “belonging” have the same root–long. The subtle implication there is the experience of going the distance with something, of a perpetual, ongoing experience of something. When we are growing up, and even well into our adult years, we will find this longing within us, this feeling of wanting, needing, yearning for something, someone, some ones, to go the distance with and who will go the distance with us.
To me, the real challenge is to allow the longing that arises within us to open our hearts and minds to a community that centers love as the quality of belonging and to resist giving ourselves over to the first offer that comes along. And, if we are going to open our hearts to that kind of love-centered community, doesn’t it also become our call to be that kind of community for others? To build it. Together.
~Bob Patrick
