A good friend of our family recently had a stroke, she was very close to my sister and her children. Although I was not as close to her I knew my sister and niece were in pain. When I spoke to my sister she expressed to me that she was angry with the world right now. She wanted to paint the whole world red, that is how angry she was.
I am very awkward when comforting people when they are facing the death of a loved one, so I inquired why she would be angry? But also acknowledge that it was a natural and reasonable emotion. She couldn’t answer me. She was just angry at death, angry that she couldn’t stop it or keep it from happening. Just as death came too soon for our Aunt, she knew it was coming too soon for our dear family friend.
I invited my sister to then hold her anger and understand it. She has a right to be angry, to grieve, to worry, but I could not comfort her with the idea that anyone can withhold death. As my sister and our friend are Christian I sent her some of our hymns to comfort her and this passage from the Bible.
Hymn #1001 Breaths Rev. Christopher Watkins Lamb | October 25th, 2020
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-4.
Hymn 404 (STLT) What Gift Can We Bring by Jane Marshall
My invitation for her to hold that anger and discover where it came from allowed for her to open up to me in her beliefs that we humans suffer and die due to original sin. Our conversation led to a talk of reincarnation and her personal beliefs being so far from her Christian teachings and to narrow down that death is not the issue, but emotions are.
So I send this invite to everyone, express your emotions, they are part of you. They shape your ideas and beliefs, they fashion how you see the world. Hold your emotions like a little ball in your hand and understand where they are coming from. Embrace the anger, the resentment, and frustration; ask it, when did it enter into your life. Understand all those things that you try to hold in and let them free. Let that little ball of emotion just float away into the healing of your soul. Hold more emotions like love, happiness and jubilation, like a ball in your hands and understand where that comes from and let that also float away into the healing of your soul.
~Candice Carver
