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Inclusivity is not ‘how do we make you a part of what we are?’ but ‘how do we become more of what you are?’
angel Kyodo williams Sensei

We have vegans in our family. Ok, stop right there, I’ve heard all the vegan jokes and stereotypes. Two of my children, my beloved-in-law, and many of their friends made mindful decisions to stop eating meat and animal products. Because I have multiple food allergies, I am aware of how difficult eating out, attending parties and traveling can be with dietary restrictions, but I also know the joy of sharing a meal. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary includes, “to enjoy with others” as one of the definitions of the verb, to share. When we’re able to eat together we’re not only sharing our food, we’re sharing our joy.

I soon realized that my children were excluded from truly enjoying meals, particularly around the holidays. Holiday menus can assume a ritualistic importance, enshrining certain dishes as irreplaceable, but if there are, say, 8 dishes on offer and you can eat maybe 1 or 2, just how included in the meal do you feel? It’s pretty easy to learn to be inclusive if you begin to ask yourself these types of questions. 

In our family, my solution echoed Sensei’s definition of inclusion. Could we, I wondered, become more vegan? Why not? We already prepared allergy safe meals. Cooking even more “inclusive” side dishes and entrees all of us could eat and fewer “exclusive” ones seemed logical. With our differences no longer dividing us, our meals became more adventurous, creative and joyous. Instead of less, we had even more to share. When we truly practice inclusion, genuinely trying to become “more” of one another, all of us are fed. May no one leave our table hungry.

~Lisa Kiel