“I am the passion which draws things into becoming and the rejuvenating enthusiasm which moves things to the courage of being.” from “Wisdom of the Watchers” from The Flame And The Cauldron by Orion Foxwood
I love this quote from the Fire/South section of Orion Foxwood’s poem calling the directions. Fire, represented by Wands in a Tarot deck, is creation, action, will, and passion. Most of my life I had the energy to work hard and accomplish much in a short amount of time. As I grew older and somewhat wiser, I realized that I too easily became unbalanced in my desire to do more outward work than inward work. I come from a distinguished line of workaholics. We filled out days with “good works” hoping to please an authoritative, angry deity. Nothing was ever “enough”. And finally, all of us crashed in different ways, revealing a shallow spiritual life and disconnected family.
My personal emotional crash kept me housebound for almost two years, unable to do anything but the bare minimum. Instead of telling me to “pull myself together and do something constructive”, my husband Daniel let me sit still in his house and just be while grieving my life. I started coloring a black and white deck of Tarot Cards–The Light and Shadow. It took me over a year and the self-examination I went through changed my life.
The Ten of Wands, called Oppression in some decks, really spoke to me. It showed me that too much Fire can lead to burnout. I began to learn that I needed to resist the ego call of shoulda, woulda, coulda. I needed to lay down the burden of too much activity and rest in the stillness of peace. It’s still a struggle for me. I get excited by the possibility of adding one more thing to my life. Fortunately, I have Daniel to remind me to resist overburdening not only myself but my relationships. I pay attention when I have overextended myself. I resist and I rest.
~Sherree Bailey
