Things That Shouldn’t Matter

You may or may not have heard that Bob and I are going to be grandparents in March. Miriam, our oldest, and Wes, her beloved, are expecting their first baby. I should say their first human baby as they are loving parents to two Boston Terriers and 5 assorted felines already. 

We do not know the gender of this new baby nor will we until baby comes as that is the decision their parents have made. They do not want any pre-gender- pressure in the womb. 

This has led to some interesting questions from family and friends. I share with permission. (Answers in parentheses). 

What are you having? (A baby) 

Yes, but what is it going to be? (It’s going to be a baby)

Yes, but what sex is it? (We don’t know)

Won’t they tell you? (We have asked them NOT to) 

Don’t you care? (Not about that)

Well, what will we celebrate if we don’t know what it is? (It’s a baby. We will celebrate the baby)

So you don’t  know anything about it? (We know LOTS – they have 10 fingers and 10 toes. They can suck their thumb and do tumbles. They can kick and sleep upside down. And, they have a very strong heartbeat). 

How will we know what to buy for it? (You can buy baby stuff for it). 

What if we buy something pink and it’s a boy or blue and it’s a girl? (Girls can like blue and boys can like pink).

And so on. There is a piece of this prayer in soul matters that I think really fits this discussion called, “Know Only that you are loved” by Gretchen Haley.

For this one moment 
Know only that you are loved 
That you are safe, and whole and loved  
Know that you belong here 
Here among us, here upon this earth 
In your body.

~Lydia Patrick

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8 Responses to Things That Shouldn’t Matter

  1. CC Carver says:

    I’m so excited for Miriam and you and Bob. I love that they have decided to just let baby be baby. I remind myself when people tell me this that technology has really spoiled us and made humans a bit toxic in their thinking. 75 years ago they didn’t care about the gender of the baby, it was a blessing to just have a healthy baby. I love that our society is getting away from the gendering of babies.

  2. Lorena Griffin says:

    Congratulations! Grandchildren are THE BEST. You will have so much fun

  3. Jen Garrison says:

    I love how you ended this story with that quote! I tear up as I read it, and I had to read it more than once to really absorb it. I felt unloved growing up in a lot of places, so that is worth writing down and keeping. Thank you!

  4. Jean & Roy says:

    Our second great granddaughter is due next month. Her parents are not telling her name yet. Our daughter & son-in-law refer to her as Flower .
    Congratulations!

  5. Peggy A says:

    Congratulations!! You will make wonderful grandparents, and I feel sure Miriam and her beloved will be great parents. I love the responses to the questions many people have been asking. Dave and I chose not to find out the sex of our baby, too. Back then, it was not normal to find out, so we did not get those questions.

  6. katrina P yurko says:

    Congratulations on having a grand baby! It’s a marvelous experience to relive being a parent without all the responsibilities. Really does give the entire relationship a different dynamic altogether. So very wonderful!

  7. Kim P says:

    I wish I had this list of answers when I was pregnant with Diana back in 2014. We waited to find out because Jason and I felt it was one of the last surprises left in the world. Thank you so much for sharing this with us – all the best to Miriam and enjoy the grandparent journey!

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