What’s In A Name?

I am Lydia Miriam III. 

The Lydia Miriam women in my life knew hardship and lived under the umbrella of a patriarchal society. 

In my immediate childhood family I was the youngest of 4 children.   Both of my brothers were violent schizophrenics. My sister had an aneurysm shortly after the birth of her second child leaving her severely disabled throughout her life. 

I was the remaining yet healthy child – the holdout of hope.  Our Pentecostal church  referred to us as the family of Job, full of trials and tribulations. They all wondered –  What tragedy would I bring to the family? I carried the name and the history… and my devout mother often accused me of not living righteously enough for God to heal my siblings.

When I left the conservative faith of my childhood I broke my mother’s heart and severed completely any goals she had for me to save the family. 

I wanted very badly to get back into her good graces but couldn’t bring myself to the compromise she required. 

Right before she passed away at 94, we had our last encounter together in my childhood home. I knew it would be our last time together and so I sat down with her at the piano and we sang from the hymnal – all of the gospel songs she loved so dearly. We harmonized and sang all of the verses. 

When the ambulance came to take her to her new facility for hospice care, she thanked me and then asked who I was. When I told her I was her daughter she said, “Well it’s very nice to meet you”. 

We didn’t resolve anything that day but we left as new friends. 

~Lydia Patrick