25 of Me

From the many homes I remember these are 25 of me. 

The house with two toilets in the bathroom my sister and I shared,
Transformed my independence with my very own room. 

Min and Papa’s Victorian house,
Revolutionized childhood play with staircase sled race.

The house next to the small church,
Converted my ideas of theology. 

The duplex where the odd man ran on a dare with no clothes to spare,
Revolutionized my self care as tuna croquettes were always there. 

Aunt Billie and Uncle Blackie’s lake side homes,
Shaped my understanding of nature and love for water,
also; where did my jelly shoes go?

The townhouse that Mom and her lover lived in,
My lies shaped my shame and anger materialized
Unknown to me I saw my moms hypocrisy

The house on oak street with sleep overs and pre teen angst,
Altered my desire to be best friends forever.

1818 Hillcrest Drive, where I spent summer life with Min and Papa
Strengthened my love, but ripped my heart out when they gave up on life.

Aunt Grace and Uncle Charles’ Christmas house,
Evolved my appreciation of teddy bears and trains and family traditions.

In one of the major changes of my life,
The farm house I lived with my father and June,
The transformation in these many years; stressful and ended in death.

At the young age of 20 I married: Our Florence house,
“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”
Transformation of secret resentment.

Homeless in a car working 50 hours a week,
Shifted my shame but revamped my determination. 

Our first house together, friends and family under one roof,
Shaped my patience, deepened resentment and ultimately defined my forgiveness.

Living on our own in Rock Hill,
I was able to remold my creative self with clay.

Relocated to Charleston for a year,
Updated my idea of friendship. 

Six months in Huntsville, Alabama (literal Hell)
Altered my understanding of racism and how it still exists today.

The quaint town of Clover, South Carolina
Improved my understanding of
S   L   O   W     D   O  W   N.

Back to Charleston much to my protest,
I was agoraphobic but with therapy I evolved
Where is my courage?

The Hanahan townhouse on the banks of the river,
My heart diverges out of love. 

In a new path of my life, a friendship that wasn’t meant to be,
My metamorphosis is grand as I’m exposed to new experiences.

North Charleston Town House where we settle into our lives,
I develop a love for cooking and grilling and giving to neighbors. 

The last house in the Tri County Charleston Area,
Great nights singing by a bonfire with neighbors ignited my appreciation for life.

A big move to Atlanta apartments, well Duluth really,
Funny how fate rearranges our lives to fulfill our desires
My life is transformed by a Community of Druids.

The Orange cat house,  where I currently reside with my loves by my side,
My life overhauled with understanding of trauma
Materialized by the love of one that is forgiving and understanding.

And now the twenty fifth me, understanding, loving, desire to be a safe space for the ones I love, creative, outgoing, forgiving, courageous, compassionate, and curious.

~Candice C. Carver