I think I’ve been angry this last week; no, I know I’ve been angry. I’m so angry about the way society is going, a deep rift, a chasm, a crack is growing across the hearts of many people. I know I am angry because I have been obsessively cleaning my house for several days. Trying to pull together a bit of understanding, reasoning, control, in my frantic, anxious mind.
This is how I practice repair for myself, repairing my heart from the pain of despair and misunderstanding, calming my brain to be able to maintain control of my situation.
This anger feels like a recognition of fractures not only in society but within myself—each crack I notice in my surroundings a mirror of those within my heart. In these moments, repair becomes an act of survival, of grounding. Through cleaning, I’m able to transform my rage into something manageable, restoring a sense of order, however small, in a world where control feels elusive.
As I clean, each task becomes an opportunity to live in love: to cleanse not only the dust from surfaces but also the confusion, disappointment, and frustration clouding my spirit. I create space, quite literally, for a quieter heart, one that can move through the pain with love instead of anger. Repair, in this sense, isn’t just about fixing or putting things back in place—it’s an ongoing commitment to rebuild love in my own life, regardless of what the world outside might look like.
In this way, cleaning becomes a practice of love: love for myself, for my environment, and for my capacity to live in a way that values healing. Each action reminds me that even in the smallest of tasks, I have the power to reconcile, to bridge a gap, and to continue living fully in love.
~Candice Carver
