Many of us are taught to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” This phrase can be interpreted in several ways. For many folks, in our religion of origin, we are taught that loving ourselves is “selfish” or that we should place our focus on our own wants and needs last. My take on it is like the adage of the airplane in distress–where you are reminded to take the oxygen mask for yourself first, so that you can then be able to assist others in need of that same oxygen. If your needs are not being addressed, you won’t have the energy required to help others. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I have experienced many days of these mixed messages with my family and religion of origin, From a young age I was expected to care for those around me despite my own needs being brushed aside. The message was that love for others was of utmost spiritual importance.
However, going through therapy beginning in my tween years, I learned that self-
compassion is the beginning of being truly able to care for others.
In the sacred texts of my youth, I remember the stories of Jesus where he went into places of solitude to reflect, rest and pray. To me, he was giving himself the same compassion he provided to those who were seeking him. I have found myself thinking, if that many people were asking for healing and getting their needs met from me constantly, I would want a break
from that too. I am finding that I struggle with that balance: giving self-compassion along
with giving compassion to others.
Do you struggle with self-compassion? If so, you’re not alone. What is one practice you can start today to show yourself some compassion in this hurting world?
~Jen Garrison
