Once a sweater has a hole, it can never be returned to its previous state. But it could be improved on. Personalized by a custom patch or colorful darn.
What about a relationship with a hole torn in it? You will never be able to go back to the way the relationship used to be. But it can be improved upon, deepened, repaired in a brand new way.
There is a parable about The Ship of Theseus. The ship’s parts all get replaced over the years as the ship is repaired. At what point does it become a different ship? Is it still the same ship even when no original pieces remain?
Think about a significant relationship in your life. Someone you have known for years and trust implicitly. Is that always what that relationship looked like? What did it look like when you first met? What about when you had your first fight? Human relationships always involve conflict. It might not have been a huge fight where you didn’t speak to each other for a week, but there was some kind of conflict. Some tear that needed repair.
How did you repair it? How did they help? With colorful new threads woven together into a new pattern? With a fun dinosaur patch? With lovingly placed stitches?
Was the relationship improved? Did the act of repair deepen the connection between you and the other person?
~Aline Harris
