Repost: The Illusion of Our Separateness

Reposted from April 23, 2024

When I was in high school, I had to have dental surgery.
That resulted in more dental surgery, years later, when my own children
were in high school. Like my younger self, they were engaged in the
process of figuring out their futures, and themselves. I was figuring out my
changing role as a parent.

The oral surgeon I saw turned out to be a very nice guy. Affable and
informative, he was also good at what he did. The degrees and plaques in
his office testified to his training and professionalism. He was careful and
kind. At some point, under the influence of the nitrous oxide, I began to think
about the parents of this affable, knowledgeable man. How did they
influence his choice of careers or his character? How had they guided him
to this point? I was developing great empathy for them and a deep, deep
gratitude for whatever they had done at the time in their parenting where I
now found myself. We had been in the same place.

I must have said something about my gratitude because I’m pretty sure that
they dialed down on the nitrous oxide after that. My inclination to talk about
his parents faded, but my connection to them did not.
One day I came across a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese
Buddhist priest who said it best:
We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.

For some of us, a little laughing gas does the trick.

~Karen Smith