Solutions-Focused, Action-Oriented folks, raise your hands! As many of you already know, I love “DOING” something. I want to take action whenever I am faced with an obstacle or problem. This is a wonderful attribute in business, in hobbies, when fixing things around the house, and in many other arenas, but it can be a real thorn in our personal relationships if those energies aren’t directed appropriately.
So often when those we care for are hurting, the pain, sadness, heartache are things that won’t go away even if there is an immediately available and solvable underlying issue; they’re not
headaches that can be fixed with a pain reliever. So, what are we, the DO-ers, left to
DO?
The practice of presence is one of the most powerful things we can DO, even though it doesn’t always feel like taking action. Listening is DOING. Sitting together is DOING. I know there are people for whom this is common sense, but it took me a long time to recognize it and it still isn’t always my first instinct. Maybe it’s like that for you, too. Next time you feel the urge to “DO SOMETHING” to help someone, try being present for them. Pay them a visit, give them a call, see how they are doing. It might not feel like you did much, but I’d bet it meant a lot to the recipient.
~Ian Van Sice
I agree. Presence is hard to keep but so very critical for us now… Thank you for this post.
Thank you, Ian, for these insightful words of wisdom. I am a “Do-er” too. It is very hard for me to just “listen” to other people’s problems without immediately wanting to help solve them. I will work on “just being there for them”. Thank you for reminding me that just being there is what they likely need the most from me.