Sometimes I miss the days when my kids were little and sitting on mom’s lap made everything better. When tears were met with hugs and kisses and hurt dissipated just by being in the arms of mom or dad. When the children were little enough to believe that mom and dad had the answers and solutions to all of their hurts and woes and bedtime cuddles and stories were a daily event.
Now they are adults. They are figuring out their own true selves.
Now the conversations sound more like this, “Mom, this isn’t something I want or need you to solve. I just need you to listen while I vent and talk it through. I don’t need your advice or you to spend time coming up with a solution for me. This is not your problem to solve. I just need you to be quiet while I work it out.”
Ouch.
But, they are still calling us. It is just for a different reason. They are coming to us to listen and observe how they can now do this themselves. They want to engage in conversation while they come up with the solutions themselves.
In his sermon entitled, “In Dreams”, (https://www.instagram.com/1stuchurch/reel/DDKVsxLx09i/) Rev. T. J. FitzGerald talks about coming out to housemates fearing the worst and how he realized at that moment in time that his friends were listening with compassion and holding space for all that he was at that time in his life. There was no judgement or offering of solutions or things to think about moving forward. There was just grace and presence.
I guess that is what my adult children need from me now. Grace and Presence. I can do that.
~Lydia Patrick
