Fire of Commitment: Let Surprise Come

I grew up in New York. It snowed every winter.

I remember one night when a blizzard was in full swing and my mom and dad had my older brothers and my sister outside with them shoveling the walks and driveway just as soon as the snow stopped falling. I was too young to help.  I was not ready to be out in the dark like that working. So I stood by the front door and cried the whole time. The next morning when I went outside with my pitiful plastic shovel it was all done. I cried again.

Yet, It was easier when my parents measured for me when I was ready for something. It was conventional and it was safe  – they chose everything – even my faith……..

Now that I am all grown up the lines are blurred. I want to know the answers for my life but I don’t.

A few weeks ago I was at the pool and faced one of my alltime pool fears – ran into one of my first graders.

“Why are you wearing glasses in the pool?” “So I can see where I am going.”

“Why are you wearing shoes in the pool?”  “So I don’t slip on the bottom.”

“Why are you walking in circles?” “To build my resistance against the current.”

Then he was gone. He got his answers and so he went back to the pool party.

I’d like to think that as I continue to grow up and into my spirituality for the next 50 years that I am as equally committed  to face the whys, the whats, the hows, the whatifs just like my little friend was about what I doing in the pool, without fear but with contemplation and balance.

I want to commit to ask myself whatever I need to so that I can let go of what is no longer working and venture out into something deeper and better.

I want to commit  to go forward and back into life’s events and surprises without judgement or stuckedness but take and leave and come and go into new truths whatever I face whether or not I think I am ready. Let surprise come.

Lydia Patrick