Trust? Really? Now?

Posted on March 3, 2025 by Bob Patrick

For a period of several months, the spiritual and reflective reading I was doing continued to serve up to me the image of “opening” myself. One of the most poignant examples of that came with the opening words of a poem by Joy Harjo, former Poet Laureate of the U.S., entitled “Eagle Poem.”

To pray you open your whole self
To sky, to earth, to sun, to moon
To one whole voice that is you.
And know there is more
That you can’t see, can’t hear;
Can’t know except in moments
Steadily growing, and in languages
That aren’t always sound but other
Circles of motion.

The words of this poem in particular began a morning practice for me. I become quiet and still, and I begin to open myself . . . and the rest of the practice is answering the question: today, to what or whom do I open myself?

During the month of March, our theme is Living Love Through The Practice of Trust.  Choosing to open ourselves to other beings and to things–actions, dynamics, ideas, relationships, possibilities, and so many other aspects of the world we live in is one way to think of choosing to trust.

Even as I write this, however, I feel the tension building, and perhaps you do, too. So much is going on in our government and the governments of other nations which intended or not, is causing harm to people, to the environment, and to the planet. Just the daily news of it all puts me on full alert and in a defensive posture. How do I open myself in that kind of environment, and if I choose to, to what, to whom, exactly do I open myself? Why would I do that in times like these?

Finding ways to open ourselves is the work that “practicing trust” invites. To what and to whom we open unfolds in the doing of that work. As to why we might choose to open ourselves at this time in the world, I will venture a response, and ask you to consider the same. Opening to other beings, when, where and however we can, is essential to who we are as human beings. We are made for relationships of all kinds. To withdraw ourselves from any sort of trust, any sort of opening is to shut down the mystery, the magic and the wonder of who we are. We hasten our demise when we stop trusting. Even though right now trust, opening, is harder than ever, perhaps even more dangerous than ever, it is also more necessary than ever for Mother Earth and all her children.

The Eagle opens her wings and trusts the air around her, and that is the only way she can fly. To what, to whom can we open ourselves to these days?

~Bob Patrick

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The Courage It Takes To Be New

Posted on February 28, 2025 by admin

It took a lot of courage for me to walk into a Unitarian Universalist congregation for the first time on that Sunday morning in February 1997.

My heart started racing as I got ready. I had to lie down on the rug in my studio apartment to do some breathing exercises before I could walk the six blocks to the church. A friend had assured me that Unitarian Universalism was my true spiritual home, but I was carrying weighty sorrows—the loss of a beloved relationship and the end of a beloved vocation. Loss made me feel especially lonely. I knew I needed community. I knew I wanted to contribute to the world with people whose values I shared. But to go into a place where I knew no one? That was scary.

Inside the sanctuary, I found a patch of empty pew and scooted past the people on the aisle to take my place. Everyone was sitting quietly, staring ahead, so when the music started and my tears began to flow, no one leaned over to check on me or offer a tissue. Maybe no one noticed; probably they wanted to respect my privacy.

But I needed more than a tissue that day. I needed a sense of potential inclusion. The words coming from the chancel, the music that the congregation and the choir sang—these spoke so profoundly to my heart and mind that I decided to keep coming back.

It’s so hard to be new in a group. Even now, I can remember particular smiles, a few quiet words, a handshake, some eye contact or shared laughter that gradually made me feel like I could be part of that community. Best of all was when someone invited me to try out a class or a volunteer effort—and met me there.

Even with lots of practice, I can still feel that fear as I join something new. But now I have more trust that, if it’s the right group for me, someone will greet me warmly. Someone will show me where to sit. Someone will ask me my name. And I will offer them my warmth, my curiosity, my gratitude, my hope.

My heart opens to the courage of all who are new. May I be part of their happy realization that they belong.

~Rev. Nancy Palmer Jones

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Can You See Me?

Posted on February 27, 2025 by admin

I have read or listened to several books by Margaret Atwood about futuristics societies where the decisions for many are made by a very few. Opinions are not allowed and those who are brave enough to have a thought and express it are dealt with quickly and often, permanently. True self is kept very much hidden. And it is done all under the guise of ‘restoring order to society’. 

It is frightening to imagine a world where so much of what a person is has to be hidden or restrained like that. 

Even so, I often wonder how much of me people really see. 


Deep inside –  I’m terrified. Terrified that the me people see will be found lacking and inadequate. So I hide inside of myself. 

I hear myself whisper things like, “Are you sure you want folks to see that? Hear that?” “If people know you are like that where will you fit in, really?”

This hidden me  is full of self doubt and fear. 

What if she behaves inappropriately?

What if she stammers and can’t explain herself? 

What if she’s flat and can’t actually sing? 

What if she’s mean and hurtful herself? 

The big whatifs have the most power….

What if her past mistakes cannot be forgiven? What if she does not fit in the circle of love? 

But wait, because we know – WE KNOW – that No One is outside the circle of love.

No One is Outside the circle of love. 

I will allow myself to come out of hiding.

I am going to forgive myself. 

I am going to encourage myself.

I am going love myself.

I am going to support myself. 

I am going to champion myself. 

And then I am going to do the same for you. 

I think it’s worth a try. 

~Lydia Patrick

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More

Posted on February 26, 2025 by admin

Inclusivity is not ‘how do we make you a part of what we are?’ but ‘how do we become more of what you are?’
angel Kyodo williams Sensei

We have vegans in our family. Ok, stop right there, I’ve heard all the vegan jokes and stereotypes. Two of my children, my beloved-in-law, and many of their friends made mindful decisions to stop eating meat and animal products. Because I have multiple food allergies, I am aware of how difficult eating out, attending parties and traveling can be with dietary restrictions, but I also know the joy of sharing a meal. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary includes, “to enjoy with others” as one of the definitions of the verb, to share. When we’re able to eat together we’re not only sharing our food, we’re sharing our joy.

I soon realized that my children were excluded from truly enjoying meals, particularly around the holidays. Holiday menus can assume a ritualistic importance, enshrining certain dishes as irreplaceable, but if there are, say, 8 dishes on offer and you can eat maybe 1 or 2, just how included in the meal do you feel? It’s pretty easy to learn to be inclusive if you begin to ask yourself these types of questions. 

In our family, my solution echoed Sensei’s definition of inclusion. Could we, I wondered, become more vegan? Why not? We already prepared allergy safe meals. Cooking even more “inclusive” side dishes and entrees all of us could eat and fewer “exclusive” ones seemed logical. With our differences no longer dividing us, our meals became more adventurous, creative and joyous. Instead of less, we had even more to share. When we truly practice inclusion, genuinely trying to become “more” of one another, all of us are fed. May no one leave our table hungry.

~Lisa Kiel

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The Door Is Open, Isn’t It?

Posted on February 25, 2025 by admin

Belonging is a hard theme to grasp. Welcoming, even harder. 

There are people I need to welcome and show hospitality to that I don’t think about in that way at all. Their philosophies and thinking patterns are too different. 

While my intention would be to understand fully and accept differences and offer internal space to ‘all’, I don’t know that I can, or  want to. And I don’t know how that makes me feel about myself and who I claim to be. 

People are difficult, deep, educated and ‘aware’. We feel as though we have many important things to say.

We assess ourselves in group activities and identify as  the ‘Sunshiners’, the ‘Must Make It Happen’, the ‘Tap Tap Time Keepers’, The ‘Careful Caregivers’, and the ‘Closers’. We talk about how important each group is and how each group provides balance and meaning. And as the year progresses we struggle to maintain the openness to the ‘other’. 

Can we settle in to the comfort of discomfort? Should everyone be included in the circle of love? 

The answer to that question is yes… Because… we ALL know what it feels like to be on the outside looking in. 

The answer is yes .. because we all know what it feels like to be boxed in, to feel lonely, to have been bullied, to have championed a cause…

The answer is yes because we have more in common than we know. 

Yes, because there is MORE that brings us together than we think.

Yes, because, until we look close enough to see each other’s humanity we are just strangers filled with distrust and fear. And who likes to live like that?

Shel Silverstein says, “There is a place where the sidewalk ends, and before the street begins.” (Where the Sidewalk Ends, p.64)

~Lydia Patrick

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What do we win?

Posted on February 24, 2025 by Bob Patrick

In a recent Sunday service, I wrote this question down which I think either Rev. Nancy or Sherree shared in a reading or reflection: When we are a diverse group, what do we win?

My mind began to flood with all of the people, acquaintances, students, colleagues, friends, strangers, family and loves in my life who represent humanity in ways that I do not. Those ways of humanity are about gender identity, skin tone, cultural origins, music, art of all kinds, religion, politics, age, socio-economics, education, language, sexual orientation, physical abilities, mental and emotional configurations, geographical location, foods–how they are prepared, what is eaten and how they are eaten– and probably quite a few more. 

Every single one of them becomes for me a portal into a deeper understanding of what it means to be human on this planet at this time. They bring to me, and I hope that I bring to them, a richer understanding of who we are and how we are as human beings. Because, for me, spirituality is deeply rooted in how we make meaningful connections, I can say that the variety and differences of human beings I cherish in my life are central to my spiritual path. They are, to say it again, portals into deep meaning and connection for me. I would be a different (and I am clear, poorer) person without them.

Asking about what we win from a diversity of people in our lives requires the other end of that question: what do we lose without that rich variety of humanity in our lives? The short answer is that we lose access to the depths of human experience that wisdom, love and truth require for us as a species to progress. As individuals we lose. As communities we lose. As states and as nations, we lose when the variety of humanity is not present (accidental) or excluded (intentional).

A meeting, for example, of Russian and US leaders which excludes Ukrainian and European Union leaders, to discuss the end of the Russian war against Ukraine is a meeting cut off from the wealth of human ideas, solutions and creativity. What comes from it will be shallow, blinded by what it cannot know or understand, and likely dangerous. That makes us all losers. 

I can’t order a different kind of meeting of world leaders. I can make choices about how I open myself to human beings who represent humanity differently than I do–and open my heart and mind to what they offer to me, what they can teach me about being human. Any time one of us does that, we all win.

~Bob Patrick

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Special Needs Sunday School

Posted on February 21, 2025 by admin

Back in the early 2000’s, my then roommate, myself, parents and other volunteers started a Sunday School program for children and teens with special needs at the church we attended. This included children who were on the autism spectrum, were hearing-disabled or had a traumatic brain injury. The teen with the TBI was a wheelchair user, and could only verbalize a few words. But he understood what people were saying and actively listened to the world around him.

One day, I was feeding him chocolate pudding when he suddenly sneezed, planting the pudding all over my face. We both laughed out loud despite ourselves. Several months later, after some unfortunate turn of events for the volunteers, our program at this church came to an end. I was incredibly sad. But when I saw the teen I had worked with in the Special Needs Sunday School class at the local mall with his father, upon seeing me he started saying, “Achoo,
achoo!” He knew who I was and remembered the shared laughter at the pudding incident.

I can still smile at that memory. I have had no further contact since then, but this teen feeling included at my church was important to me, and such a gift. I only wish it could have continued longer. This leads me to this question: What at UUCG can we do collectively to include ALL members of our greater community, including people with ability differences? Perhaps there is a future calling there, for myself included.

~Jen Garrison

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