Primal Belonging

Posted on September 12, 2025 by Bob Patrick

There is something primal about the feeling of belonging. 

When we are made to feel that we belong, it is not because we have thought our way into it. Belonging is not an intellectual experience.   It is not because we have earned our way into it. Belonging is not a merit based construct. It’s not because we have bought into the right neighborhood, dressed in style, or gone to all the right stores and vacation spots. Belonging is not a lifestyle or brand. Belonging is not about joining the right organization (professional organization, political party, religion, or social organization). The experience of belonging is not a club membership. 

I remember as a young teacher wanting badly to feel like I belonged to a community of like-minded people with experiences, knowledge and even friendships to share with one another. I made the mistake of thinking that would happen if I joined certain professional organizations. At my first such professional conference, held on a university campus, I drove all over the campus before I finally found the registration center for the conference.  One of the registrars asked if I had had a good trip, and I responded that the trip was great until I got on campus. There were no signs or any written instructions on where the registration center would be.  The registrar laughed and shrugged and said: everyone knows that we are always in this building. I walked away thinking: everyone knows.  Everyone who belongs, I guess. Joining the club did not create the experience of belonging for me. 

American poet and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou is famously quoted as saying:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

When we interact with people in this world, we can lead with a concern for how we make people feel. Do we put people at ease, create a sense of comfort and safety, that we belong to one another. When we manage to do that, we can see the change in people’s faces. We touch something ancient and primal in them that comes forward and shows itself to some ancient and primal parts of us. We can choose to build this sort of belonging.

~Bob Patrick

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Our Shared Vessel

Posted on September 11, 2025 by admin

Rivers are symbolically rich, historically significant, majestic works of nature. Their presence, their movement sustains life where it might otherwise perish. Today, we reflect on our interconnectedness, as if each of our lives were tributaries of a vast river. 

Rivers are alive with movement. They have direction. Whether a trickle or a raging flood, they have power. They all have a source. Most are fed by vast networks of streams. This feels like an apt metaphor for spiritual journeys. In different seasons, the rivers rise and fall, they may move and change the terrain, they might freeze over, they can even die off in the worst circumstances. Does this sound like your faith over time? It feels like mine.

Rivers are made of the vitalizing water of life. Beyond all they DO, we need what they ARE to live. If spiritual nourishment is found in the rivers of faith, we can bathe in the restorative waters, but can we float the current alone? Can we brave the rapids without protection? I believe shared faith and religious community can be the vessel in which we navigate the dark vastness of existence. 

Before finding UUCG, I felt like I was floating. I would occasionally probe the depths of the river of faith, but knowing where the bottom was didn’t really matter to me. I accepted my place and floated on. Eventually, like many, I needed more. Shared values and a place to be my authentic self were the reasons I first walked through these doors. Honesty, vulnerability, and spiritual growth are why I’ve stayed. We’re in this vessel together. We can examine the depths together. Let us drink of these waters together. 

~Ian Van Sice

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Three Men Belonging

Posted on September 10, 2025 by Bob Patrick

Generally speaking, I am in good health. Once I became “over 60” the doctors I see became much more interested in running tests to see if, in fact, I am in generally good health. On this particular morning, I was standing in line at 7:00 AM for a heart CT scan “because I am over 60” and well, heart and arteries and all of that need to be checked out. 

The first man was standing in front of me. I could see the scar on his cervical spine just above the top of his t-shirt. There were bandages poking out, too. He sounded unhappy as he grunted answers to the person at the intake desk. He was there for an x-ray. When I saw his face sitting in the waiting area, he did not look happy, either. I surmised this was a man in a lot of pain. I have been in a lot of pain before. Something in me recognized something in this man.

The second man was walking down the side of the five lane highway as I drove home that morning, not quite 8:00 AM. He was wearing a t-shirt and what appeared to be swimming trunks. He was walking in knee high weeds as there was no sidewalk. I surmised that this was a man willing to do hard things for what his life demanded that day. I have had to do hard things before. Something in me recognized something in this man.

The third man was on the side of that same busy five lane highway a few miles later at the entrance to a business parking lot not yet open for the day. He had what appeared to be two shopping carts all loaded down with his things. I knew in a glance that this was his whole life piled in those carts, and he was kneeling around their edges making sure that everything was tucked in and safe to travel to wherever his life unfolded that day. I surmised that this man was facing a day full of unknown risks and challenges, some of which could be dangerous. During my 65 years, I have known some challenges that felt bigger than I thought I could manage. Something in me recognized something in this man.

Soon, I was caught at a red light, and in that space of waiting, these three men joined me in my heart space. I took a deep breath, and I asked for relief of pain, for strength to persevere, for safety and protection: for each of us. I hope my prayer has some good effect. They helped me  build belonging that day with three unknown brothers along the way. 

~Bob Patrick

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Building Belonging: My Journey

Posted on September 9, 2025 by admin

I first came to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Gwinnett as a curious visitor around 2010-2011. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was witnessing the winds of change, both in myself and the church. I started visiting initially because I wanted to find a spiritual home that
accepted my friends who are part of the LGBTQ+ community.

One of the first things I saw on the door to UUCG was a “friendly” rainbow sticker. The first few services I attended, I stayed toward the back of the sanctuary and observed quietly. I admit I was confused by the messages, rituals and songs because they were very different from what I was accustomed to, yet was familiarity as well, especially the tunes of the hymns from my childhood.

I don’t have a lot of memories of my first few visits because it was right after my mother passed away, so that was a fuzzy-brained time for me. But as I came out of my shell and attended
UUCG more regularly, I realized that when I was seeking a spiritual home for my
friends, I actually needed that just as much for myself. I came out to my closest friend
first. As I felt safe and comfortable enough to do so, I came out to others, including
friends at UUCG. By this time I was active in church life, especially where music was
involved. There are particular songs that spoke to me about my coming out, including
“How Could Anyone.” The ending line of the song is, “how could anyone fail to notice
your loving is a miracle, how deeply you’re connected to my soul.”

UUCG truly is my spiritual home.

~Jen Garrison

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Belonging At Any Cost

Posted on September 8, 2025 by admin

The largest underground city in Turkey is the Derinkuyu Underground City, located in the Cappadocia region. It has 18 levels carved into volcanic rock and could house over 20,000 people. It has places for storage and livestock. It has ventilation and natural openings for sunlight and air. It was believed to have been built around 700 BCE. 

This is not the only underground or secret city. They are everywhere and are created for a variety of reasons. I imagine the need for survival and hiding from the enemy would be the foremost reason. Other reasons might include preservation of a lifestyle that would otherwise die out. Hiding and protecting treasures might raise a need for a secret place few know about. 

I think that Building Belonging can be one of those things we do to protect a lifestyle of beliefs and practices. When we build belonging we seek a community of souls that matter to us – we want to be a part of the whole. We want to shelter within the community and grow from it. We are comfortable with like minded folks. Building a community might also include protecting lifestyles different from ours but important just the same. 

I am reminded of the song we have sung about the circle by Mark Miller. 

“Draw the circle
Draw the circle wide
Draw the circle
Draw the circle wide
No one stands alone, we’ll stand side by side….
Draw the circle
Draw the circle wide”

~Lydia Patrick

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What’s With This Word ‘Building?’

Posted on September 5, 2025 by admin

When I hear the word building, I immediately picture buildings (noun) or building (verb). I think of neighborhoods with houses, apartments and condos. I imagine the skylines of cities and the invasive noise of construction sites. Building any building is a collaborative effort. A house, for example, requires an architect’s vision, someone to read the blueprint, monetary resources, building supplies, appropriately zoned land, workers to do the physical labor, and ultimately, the individuals who will call it home.

Last week I read an article online in The Atlanta Journal and Constitution concerning the building of affordable housing for teachers both active and retired in the downtown Atlanta area. When teachers and retirees were interviewed about their economic realities, planners concluded that the high cost of housing was pricing teachers out of the community. Teachers were simply unable to live where they worked. The answer was to build affordable housing to attract educators to the downtown area. To me, this looks a lot like a community offering teachers a tangible way to belong.

So, what does building belonging look like in our own space? Think about building belonging as visual or physical: a smile, a handshake or hug, food at potluck for a variety of diets, services that encourage the growth of all, an accessible online ministry, groups that welcome diversity, programs that expand our definitions of welcome, and support systems for those in need. The list could and should go on and on.Turns out we’re already practicing belonging, but how do we build more belonging? We don’t stop asking this question:  what do you need to feel you belong within our community? We ask ourselves. We ask our friends. We ask people we just met. The answers we hear are our new building blocks.

~Lisa Kiel

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Building Beloved Community

Posted on September 4, 2025 by admin

Recently I was at a store checking out and the very nice cashier asked if “We would be using our store credit card today.” I had to look around as I left the house by myself and had not picked up anyone else along the way. I was alone. There was no ‘we’. I responded as nicely as they asked, “No, we will not be using our credit card today.” Not deterred by that (too much), they asked if “We would be rounding up our total to give money to support the starving folks in (insert 3rd world country) today.” Again, I said “No we will not be doing that but thanks for asking. We do all of that through our church and know exactly where the money goes each and every time.” At this point I was hoping they would ask for details and I could elaborate on our Give Away the Plate practice and our monthly Lawrenceville Co – Op collections. 

However, at this point the sales person was done with me and ready for the next customer. They had let of the comradery goal and were now focussed on completing my transaction and moving on to the next person. 

The month of September is about building belonging. Not the kind of community belonging where one fulfills a need and in doing so gets acceptance for a time being. We are building beloved community and that is vastly different. 

In the piece entitled, “Come Into Our Circle” Rev. Michael Collins says, 

Come in from the margins. Come into our circle.
Here, we stretch wide a doorway of belonging.
No need to polish your edges or hush your truth.
We gather not in sameness, but in shared seeking.
Take a breath. Set down what you carry.
You are welcome, wholly and wildly, in this place.

(Shared with permission from Soul Matters) 

This month in every service and gathering in our building we will be looking for ways of shared seeking and opening the doorway of belonging as wide as we can. 

Join us! 

~Lydia Patrick

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