Songs are emotions to me. Most of the time, I sing and smile and I feel good listening to my favorite songs. There are songs that make my life stop for a moment because of the sadness in my soul.
I want to share with you three songs that bring me to tears. The songs are beautiful. But, it’s not easy for me to listen to them.
The first song is “You Don’t Know How it Feels” by Tom Petty. I had bloodwork at my oncologist and I was driving home. I had a chemo treatment the week before and I… Well, I don’t have the words to say how I felt. I will just say that I felt bad. That song came on the radio when I was feeling vulnerable mentally and physically. I started crying because people didn’t know how it feels to be me. It still brings me to tears when I think of that moment.
The second song is “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac. It reminds me that I’m getting old and that my children are getting older. I especially think of my son because he is so far away from me. This song reminds me that life is always changing and it’s difficult to deal with sometimes.
The last song is “Lightning Crashes” by Live. This song is the worst for me. It brings on PTSD attacks for me. The last time I heard it. I started crying and shaking. I started to relive all of my breast cancer treatments. I can tell you that it is a mental state that is scary. I will never and I mean never ever listen to that song again.
These songs bring feelings and memories I wish I could bury. They have shown me that songs can make me feel vulnerable. Yes, for me songs are emotions.
~Rita Romero
So much truth in this…. vulnerability is everywhere, isn’t it. Thank you for sharing with such openness..
Thank you
Your writing has brought me to an awareness. Nobody really talks about the things You write in your “open ” journal. You have keen senses that bring the external world, your life experiences, your cancer, and you find a place for them in your own person, yet, they are not Who you are. They are not you. They are songs that reflect you. Songs that give emotional significance to the life you lead. Lead, is a big word. Lead is who you are. You take all these sources of song, good and bad life experiences, and you put them where they belong. You are the leader.
Thank you, I try to write in a way that I hopefully will let people know that they are not alone. I hope my writing will help at least one person and I will be happy.
Thank you so much Katrina