What If

I started writing my own music sometime in high school. I wish I held  on to those starters. My pattern was to write something and then let go of it soon after thinking it was good enough to keep. I wish I knew the importance they would hold for me now. 

Once in college I started writing music again and  those songs are still with me. One I started in 1980 and have changed the words now probably 5 times. As I evolve and my journey twists and turns my philosophies weave and morph as well. 

Originally all of my songs were very conservative and religious and prayerful. Then they became more general and random. Now I find myself more reflective and ‘whole world’ focused and my music has become more questioning and less focussed on answers. 

I wonder where I would be now if I held on to all of the old songs?

I wonder where I would be if I let go of the negativity about my writing and just allowed the music to stay a part of me in whatever form it appeared? 

I wonder if I felt more comfortable writing about my disappointments as well as my triumphs if I would not be so hesitant to keep writing? 

I hear about musicians who write songs in elevators, bathrooms, bars, tunnels, and boats excusing themselves for a few minutes to record into their phone when inspiration strikes. 

The truth is we all have moments of inspiration. We are carvers, builders, thinkers, teachers, musicians, athletes, cooks, bakers, and inventors. 

I wonder where we would be if we always gave ourselves room to create freely? 

~Lydia Patrick

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4 Responses to What If

  1. Jeanne Crownover says:

    I wrote little poems when in 3rd or 4th grade, which my mother typed on little 3 x 5 cards and which I still have today. Then a poem after a lost love and a couple dealing with the angst of a young wife and mother. Then no poetry writing until in my 70’s, but am glad I kept these early treasures. Enjoyed your essay and could relate.

  2. katrina yurko says:

    Writing, expressing , recording, through the episodes of one’s life helps clarify how we filter our growth. I have filled many sketchbooks with both character sketches and poetry but they are not polished or very disciplined. They are raw expressions and deeply esoteric. I would love to have an objective visitor come in to critique the work before my family inherits all my Musings. I want to polish my work so that my readers
    ( 2 daughters) find truth and personal connections with their mom, after it is all said /read and done. It becomes a kind of legacy. Even if its messy.

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