The past three years have been especially hard on my spirit. A good friend of mine ghosted me during this time, only contacting me every once in a while. I wasn’t used to that because we were so close, and were in regular contact before this time. I knew from what little bits he told me that he was going through an especially difficult time as well, particularly with his and his husband’s health. Logically, I knew that he was trying to take care of himself by shutting down socially. However, the way I deal with trauma is to cling to those I love, including my friends. His opposite action I knew was what he needed in my mind, but my heart and soul were screaming for attention and affection, especially at the height of the pandemic. But life and the Universe have mysterious ways of turning the tables.
My friend and I have been in contact again in recent months, particularly after he lost his job. He found himself and his husband needing housing, and I just happen to to have a house to myself. The greatest and most exciting thing about this time is that I have been looking for ways to repair my house, and have not had much luck thus far, beyond basic things that have been done with the help of non-profits. But I have been told they can do no more for me.
My friends, who are moving in soon, along with my father (the biggest shock in all this) are going to be working together to do the most needed repairs to my foundation and gutters soon! That way we can all live in my house safely.
I have a feeling that my mother’s and Aunt Sue’s spirits have something to do with all this. My father has had difficulty dealing with the adult that I have become, since we are on opposite ends of the political and social ideology spectrums. But somehow my mother’s spirit tugged at him, making him understand just how important this is for my and my friends’ safety in the house. I don’t know if that’s actually true, but I have a feeling about all this. It is meant to be.