In the Soul Matters documents for this month I came across this question in the small group work packet – ‘Is it possible that the form of resistance you need to take right now is rest?’
How do we do that? Are we not to fight injustice at every turn?
Resting is particularly hard for me as a mother. Bob and I have raised 3 capable, confident, and courageous children who are now adults making their own way in the world. And yet, when the phone call comes where one of them is hurting or struggling I transition into something fierce. I go into what they call ‘Mama Bear’ mode and find myself bearing down, offering resolutions, scenarios and ways to help. I want to fight every injustice they face and protect them from the world’s hurts even now.
They know this.
More often than not they will now start these conversations with, “Mom, I don’t need a solution – I just need you to listen”. Or “Mom, before you start packing I just want you to know I am OK – I just want to talk to you about something important”. “Mom, this is not an emergency – I just need to update you so you don’t go into panic mode”.
Be soft.
Do not let the world
make you hard.
Do not let pain
make you hate.
Do not let bitterness
Steal your sweetness.
Kurt Vonnegut
What they are telling me is that they carry their own resistance and are capable of fighting their own injustices in this world. We raised them to think. They are just sharing their journey with me. And, like Bob says, “Isn’t it nice that they called to chat?”
~Lydia Patrick
Thank You Lydia. I need to remember this. Sometimes my adult children show an overabundance of confidence and determination to be the adult in the room. It’s all good. I know I must graciously listen, keep my mouth shut and move aside. But I also have to be reminded that they will forever be coming of that age, free , independent and autonomous, until they hit my age and have to graciously move aside so others can grow. Behind the face of high esteem they are still having their own unique journey, making their own mistakes and having to endure consequences. I fluctuate between being their mother, their friend and hopefully their confidant. I’m just so glad we can still learn from each other. Life can be quite different through a millennial’s eyes.