Foundations: Preserving Not Losing

I am in the midst of a battle within myself regarding foundations. Mine has been shaken at its core more than once in the past decade. The first time related to the mistreatment at the time of my bipolar disorder. While being treated with high doses of an antidepressant (which I should have never taken with my type of bipolar), I started ‘hearing’ from God on a daily basis. I actually thought Jesus was talking to me, telling me to look at a certain page in the Bible for a special message. Yikes! I told my then roommate what was going on, and the look on her face told me I needed help.

The journey back to sanity and myself took several months. I started to question everything I believed. That began a search for meaning in the world as I saw it, leading me back to my basic beliefs I held as a child and teen. I have always felt God’s presence within nature. Life eventually led me back to my childhood home, and into the embrace of the people of UUCG.

I am finding in my present that this is a great blessing indeed. I am struggling with finding where I stand with several friends who do not share my faith, in ways that make me feel like a duck out of water lately. My challenge is trying to preserve my soul, without losing it just to be accepted by people. I actually don’t feel that close to these friends, not anymore. I don’t feel the same affirmation as I do with my friends at UUCG. My soul is searching for the right answer. Do I already know, but am afraid to embrace it? Do I need to know right now? Inquiry…

Jennifer Garrison

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