Harbor: In Chaos–Order

In chaos,

I will find the thread that leads to order.

For 39 years I let others determine what I wore, what I did, what I believed. Now I know I choose my own path daily and work to remember that I am author of my own triumphs and debacles.  It has been a painful process frequently delayed by false starts, dead-ends, foolish decisions, and the restoration time needed to recover from fractured illusions.  It has also been exhilarating, surprising, delightful, and joyous.

In chaos,

I will find the thread that leads to order.

The Fool is my favorite Tarot Card. He is the zero of the Major Arcana which is sometimes called The Journey of the Fool. It depicts a young man starting a Journey with a knapsack. The painting shows him as he is stepping off a mountain.  He is not committing suicide.  He is journeying into the unknown. Perhaps he believes that he can fly.  I was afraid of heights as a child so I never had flying dreams.  I did however, dream often of riding all over town on my invisible bicycle.  


I’ve been The Fool,

Chaotic and cool,

In bicycle dreams,

I’ve flown without wings,

The Journey begun,

Began and begin,

The precipice calls me,

To leap once again,

Ignoring the dangers,

Relying on Angels,

To bear me so gently,

On clouds of serenity,

Sometimes I crash,

Sometimes I laugh,

Sometimes I burn,

Sometimes I learn.



Lead me not into containment,
Where I have no day to breathe,
Lead me not unto the mighty,
Where I have no place to grieve.

Let me freely dance my journey,

Unrestrained by law and rules,

Let me have for my companions,

Faeries, leprechauns, and fools.

Let me pour forth all my troubles,

Without fear of consequence,

Let me sing with joy and laughter,

Proclaim heart’s pure Innocence.

Let me have a life unfettered

By the rigid frowns of those

Who seek safety in the sameness

That requires a statue pose.

I  march grateful into Freedom

To the land where there’s no shame

I will dwell in Garden Eden

And I’ll count my life all gain.

Sherree Bailey

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