What puts me out of whack? Well, actually a lot of things. I’m going to tell you about the one thing that is the hardest to deal with and that’s my health. It is with me wherever I go. It’s my alter ego. But, instead of making me stronger, it makes me weaker. Or does it?
Watching She-Hulk at the moment. I’m not only a Trekkie but a huge Marvel fan. I do see one thing in common with certain superheroes and that is that I have to deal with a situation that has changed me forever . Hey, looking on the bright side.
I had spinal injections and it brought tears to my eyes. It was a day for my alter ego to rule. I felt bad today because my lumbar back is what is keeping me from an ordinary life. I can’t stand without pain. I can’t sit without pain. I can’t walk without pain. I know that many people understand me.
Having my center on the outside helps me calm down fast. I put dinner in the slow cooker with Jalilas help. I got my crochet and made myself comfortable in front of the tv and binged movies and crocheted. I felt bad because that is all I could do. That is life for me in the foreseeable future.
When I see people doing things that I want to do but can’t do, it’s hard on me. Many times I feel worthless because I can’t help around the house like I used to. I can’t mow the lawn anymore. I used to enjoy it because it was peaceful to me. But, that is life.
Coming to terms with my alter ego helps me find my center quickly. Nevermore will I be without her. Mourning what I used to be and accepting who I am now is a hard path to go down but necessary.
I should name my alter ego. If anyone has any suggestions I would surely love to hear them. Oh! Edgar Allen Poe fan. Let me know of names.