What springs to mind when you first think about “Interdependence?” My first thought is about the duality it presents and the feelings brought about by each side. Having others (friends, family, pets, community) who depend on me does not generally trigger fear, anxiety, resentment or other negative feelings. Feeling dependent on others is harder. Why is that? For me, I don’t worry about how being dependent on me makes the other party feel. I know my feelings and what I’m capable of. Needing others feels like a loss of control. Whether it’s coworkers, family, intimate partners, friends, or anyone else, we’re never really in control of what they will do or how they’ll feel about it.
It’s funny the things I’ve felt anxiety about in the past. Funny in hindsight, anyway. These days I find most of my happiness comes from relationships filled with interdependence. An especially present example for me is the experience of playing music. I had not really touched a guitar in over 15 years before attending UUCG but the communal experience of playing with and performing for others brings me joy. As anyone who has performed with others will know, however, you rely on your band members to an incredible degree.
Sometimes it feels like all of us, the people, trees, oceans, winds, and animals are musicians in an orchestra. Maybe one day we’ll all be playing the same song.
~Ian Van Sice
this is so lovely Ian. Thank you for sharing.
Ian, I love your personal definition of interdependence as you related it to musical performances. Each musician certainly does depend on all of their fellow musicians to play their parts with a certain level of expertise in order for the group performance to be melodious. I see this interdependence at work in many other kinds of groups/committees/ teams at UUCG.
Your interpretation of interdependence is well composed and Poetic! Especially because you are using the channel of music to explore the interconnection. The arts are a portal to experiencing our shared humanity. You are so fortunate to have the gift of musical talent and be the humanist that brings people into the same song!
So grateful for your reminder that interdependence can be scary! Like love–heck, like making music!–it takes a lot of mutual trust and intentionality, doesn’t it?
These values of ours as Unitarian Universalists are so deep, and so complicated, so beautiful, and sometimes so hard to fully live. This is why I love spiritual community, like UUCG: we’re all in this together, learning as we go.