Recently, I have had several acute medical issues, including one that sent me to the hospital. I have had several chronic medical issues, including degenerative eye conditions, such as functional blindness; diabetes, since my early 40’s; and psoriatic arthritis. For several months, my blood sugar has been very high. After taking several vaccines at the same time, I was ill for five weeks and I was hardly able to eat, and had severe weakness and fatigue. This led to a lab test which showed a high level of potassium and a 36 hour stay at a hospital. It is most likely that my kidneys are causing this.
My primary spiritual practices have been body focused, meaning that I experience connecting with the Earth and Spirit through the “spell of the sensuous”. I do this through practices of breathing and body prayers such as walking, yoga, and noticing my heartbeat. Due to the several chronic and acute ailments, my practices have felt difficult to do in the last few months, and I haven’t felt as connected.
I believe my body’s vulnerability has increased my emotional and spiritual vulnerability. It’s saying to me, “Step back, quit trying so hard. Let others care for and support you. And, accept vulnerability of this part of the life cycle where just ‘being’ is OK.” I am learning to dance with my mortality, releasing many former desires, hopes, and dreams, in order to embrace what is!
~Daniel Bailey
I feel for you Daniel. You have put your body and mind into an alignment that has an essence. The essence of you that exists as an aquifer does, unseen and essential. I am amazed that you can translate your body and all the pain, the compromised core, the symptoms of mortality and coax them into a “spell of the sensuous”. Many people who are “our age” are having to cope with our bodies limitations take a disliking to our physical self because we feel let down by our best buddy, the one true friend that has served us unconditionally for all these years. You are at least working on a balance between you and your best buddy. That is you and the people in the circle of love…Like Rumi said, “we are all just walking each other home”.
Thank you Katrina!