The cancer clinic is a place where courage is in abundance. There is one area in the clinic where courage is a part of every patient. That is the infusion area. It’s where the chemotherapy is administered.
On most of the days when I was going to get my chemotherapy I would see a certain woman. We never had the same nurse and that means we never sat next to each other. I never knew her name. Also, in the infusion area there wasn’t much talking. It could be eerily quiet.
But I would always nod at her and she would nod back. That was our way of saying hello. Her eyes were sunken and she looked frail. I believe that she was further along in her treatment then I was.
I could see in her eyes that she was exhausted mentally and physically. But, I could see there was a sparkle in her eyes. I believe that she was letting me know that she was a warrior and she would survive.
I also saw that she would not fight today. She left her weapons at home because she was too tired to fight. She would rest. I saw tears and my heart and soul cried with her. It takes courage, faith, hope, love, hate and much more to go through chemotherapy.
One morning I got ready to go for my chemotherapy. I looked in the mirror and she was staring at me. The same sunken eyes. The same exhaustion mentally and physically. Then, I saw the same sparkle in my eyes. I also saw that I am a warrior and I will survive.
Today my weapons are by my bed and I will not fight. Today is a day of rest. This is the courage of a warrior.
Rita, all of your words of wisdom touch me deeply. You’re a wonderful writer, and I appreciate your sharing of your journey through your battle with cancer. You are very brave!
You have deep empathy and understanding of a personal experience that forces you to see yourself as both a warrior and accept yourself as a woman who is vulnerable to the beast at your front door. I know you have had to face it and to fight it, the beast has come into your house. It is has taken part of your body but cannot touch your soul. I hear you, I see you, I share your fear and your courage. I’m thankful for your insights because we are all well, until we are not. No exceptions, nobody is exempt . I get my results back on Monday, Its been a very long week.