I recently watched the new Avatar movie, Way of Water. Just as the prequel it was action packed and had more than one message in it.
But it had me questioning my true welcoming spirit. Just as in the previous movie, the phrase, “I see you,” signifies the acceptance of others despite their differences.
This phrase made me rethink how I see myself welcoming others, and do I welcome everyone even though I don’t agree with them? I always thought I was pretty tolerant of others and who they were, but was I welcoming? Did I truly accept people for who they are?
Welcoming someone does not mean that I have to agree with them, approve of them or be friends with them. I try to accept them for who they are and I try to be at peace with them. Setting my boundaries to be in their presence and protect myself is always important to me.
I’ve started to shift my attitude to acceptance instead of judgment. I started to just think of them and say in my mind, “I accept you completely, I accept that you don’t recycle.” “I accept that you don’t understand me.” “I accept that you are a narcissist.” I don’t have to like it, but I accept the person for who they are.
Welcoming a person completely for who they are and accepting them allows me to release my judgements, irritability, narrow views, grievances and remorse. This opens me up to peace and relief. I can also prepare myself by creating boundaries and guidelines for myself while interacting with them. It’s difficult sometimes, and I am not perfect, so I do have to remind myself sometimes.
When someone does welcome and accepts me fully it is a wonderful feeling.
~Candice Currier Carver
Candace,
Thank you for your thoughtful words. I have had a difficult time the past several years being with people who voice strong opinions that are the complete opposite of mine. I have lashed out at them at times, especially people in my family who I have asked to leave certain topics out of our conversations since we already know we think differently about these topics. I recently went on a trip with my sister, who is definitely on the other side of the fence from me on many topics. Several times during the trip she would just launch into me about why she was right about certain issues, and implied that my thinking was wrong. In order to keep the peace, I gritted my teeth, and politely said, “Thank you for sharing your opinion with me and you already know how I feel about this issue.” That would end the conversation on this topic. After responding this way twice to her, she quit telling me her opinions about these sensitive topics, and we enjoyed a lovely trip together. I hope I can continue practicing this with other people who express such opinions about a controversial topic. If they do not know me well enough to know my opinion about the topic, I will ask if they would like to hear my thoughts about this issue. If they say yes, I will gladly tell them my thoughts. If they say they do not want to hear my thoughts, I will ask if we can talk about something else.