Lost Faith

I was brought up as a Baptist. I was not an every Sunday Baptist but I was an only on holidays Baptist. Religion was basically left up to me.

As a child, I had no interest in religion. As a teenager, I was an atheist because how could there be a God with all the suffering in this world and in my life. As a young adult, I started wondering about religion. 

I tried my uncle’s Rev. Reuben faith. He was Pentecostal, that didn’t last long. Later on, I got involved in a mega church. That lasted for a bit. I found that the church was too political. That irritated me but I ignored it and kept going. 

Then, one day a hymn was sung and it was a very unusual hymn. It was about a three headed God. Now, I know about the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. I just didn’t think of it in that way.

People were cheering and seemed to enjoy the hymn. I wondered if any of the people were actually listening to the hymn. I don’t think they were.

 I don’t blindly follow any faith and that church was just full of  blind followers. That was the last time I went to that church. 

I then started to really get interested in my husband’s faith. He is a Muslim. I dipped a toe in his faith a few times. It didn’t seem too bad and I figured why not. 

I read books about Islam and I asked him questions and I decided to give it a shot. It won’t hurt me. I can try it. 

I started to wear the hijab everywhere. I prayed five times a day. I fasted during Ramadan. I was definitely a practicing Muslim woman.

I have to say that I loved it. Wearing a hijab was awesome. It was the first time that I truly coordinated my clothes. I actually felt beautiful when I was wearing my hijab. 

I read the Quran and there were some things I didn’t agree with. But, when I read the Bible there were things that I didn’t agree with. What religion is perfect? None! So, I wasn’t bothered by it.

I felt closer to God. I believed in the Prophet Mohamed. Everything was going well. I was happy.

Then, it was 2016 and so many things changed. I guess all I have to say is that Trump happened. The hatred against Muslims increased.

One day my family went out to eat. My daughter, son , his girlfriend, my ex husband and myself went out to dinner. I was wearing my hijab as usual. We were seated and everything was going well.

Then, I started looking around me. I noticed so many people looking at me. Not just looking but staring. I even saw that some young and old men were standing up just staring at me. I was scared. 

My hijab was the only thing that gave my religion away. That night thinking of everything, I had decided to stop wearing my hijab and I stopped being a practicing Muslim.

It is the prejudice and bigotry of people that put fear into my soul.  I decided that I didn’t want to get involved in any religion. It was just too much for me. I lost faith in everything. 

Two years later, I was on Facebook and I saw an ad for an open house at UUCG. I looked it up and I decided to give it a shot.

I came and I haven’t left. I decided to stay because You are welcome here. I love that. Yes, this is my home because- You are welcome here!!!

~Rita Romero

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2 Responses to Lost Faith

  1. Peggy A says:

    Thank you for sharing your story of finding a place where you feel truly welcomed. I feel that UUCG is very fortunate to have you in our congregation! I love reading your words of wisdom and learning more about your life experiences. I admire your strength and endurance in the face of the many challenges you have faced. Love you, Rita.

  2. Barbara says:

    My heart is in pain and joy reading this. What faith would we all be if we could safely express our inner self and knowledge. May we, at UUCG, be ready to accept the paths that our members and friends are on. I am currently a deist UU. Is it knowledge-yes truly. Is it feeling – yes madly. Is it action – yes deeply.

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