Last year around this time my world turned upside down. It was not what you think. My mother passed away in November of last year but that was expected with her 94 years and ailments and we were thankful she was finally in a place of peace and reunited with my dad. It was what followed that took me down. The aftermath of the leftover family of which I was now the trustee nearly did me in.
We all have issues with our families and they come out fully and in all their regalia most often at those occasions when we all are present or are expected to be present. Weddings and funerals. The devil is in the details. For me that was the handling of the estate…At some point we all go back to those childhood memories where we were hurt, where our feelings were put aside, where we had that fight that everyone seems to remember differently. And all of a sudden we are 13 again.
All of that so say, this past year having to deal with the remains of my childhood – I have had not a small amount of difficulty finding my center. The most important lesson I am learning is to let go. Let go of the hurt, the sorrow, the difficulties and focus on remembering the good. It is getting easier every day.
This holiday we went to see the final Hunger Games movie and I came complete circle with this quote from Katniss at the very end…
“But one day I’ll have to explain about my nightmares. Why they came. Why they won’t ever really go away. I’ll tell them how I survive it. I’ll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I’m afraid it could be taken away. That’s when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I’ve seen someone do. It’s like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years. But there are much worse games to play.”