Belonging to Myself

Most of my life I belonged to everyone else but myself . I was molded to put my needs on the back burner to take care of everyone else. I couldn’t live my life. 

My mother suffers from borderline personality disorder. She raised me to put her needs and wants before my own. Verbal and mental abuse was my childhood. I learned to do things on my own and not ask for help because help was never given.

I belonged to my children. I gave them all the love and encouragement that I could give. I broke the cycle of my childhood and put their needs and wants in front of mine. 

I also spent seventeen years of my life not only taking care of my children, but I also took care of my mother, sister and nephew. My son once told me that I don’t have two children, I actually have five. Well, he was right. 

Then something happened in my life that made me put myself before everyone else. That something is breast cancer. I gave the responsibility of my mother to my sister. I’m not her slave anymore. Believe me, my sister is definitely not her slave. On my way to belonging to myself. 

I had to learn to let go of my responsibilities to my family. They had to start taking care of themselves. Let them go! Let them go! Let them go!

I’m learning to put my mental, physical and spiritual being first. It’s all new to me, and, you know, I like it. One more step to belonging to myself.

Breast cancer has changed my life in many ways. Many things are horrible but there are also good things. I finally belong to myself and that is good. 

~Rita Romero

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8 Responses to Belonging to Myself

  1. Peggy A says:

    Such a beautiful self-examination of your life. Happy to hear you are finally paying attention to your own personal needs now. Well wishes on this new path!

    • Rita says:

      Thank you! I’m very happy that you are enjoying my writing. It’s very encouraging for me to read your comments, thank you so very much

  2. Daniel Bailey says:

    Happy you are doing this for yourself!

  3. Lorena Griffin says:

    Thank you for sharing, Rita. I’m enjoying your posts.

    • Rita says:

      Thank you! I’m glad you are enjoying my posts. I guess my life has not been easy but everybody has had a hard life. It’s just that the difficulties are different. I hope my post can let people know that they are not alone. Thank you!

  4. Katrina says:

    This must take a lot of true effort, first to have the life experiences, to move through them and be able to look back and say “I did good”. The best part about that is that you know where you stand in terms of family , in terms of your life. I have thoroughly enjoyed your “open journal” , being able to get a glimpse of You as a whole person, with roots and history. Thank for being on the writers’ team and sharing your “journal” with us.

    • Rita says:

      Thank you! I never thought of this being an open journal but I guess it is. Thank you for your words, it touched me. I’m so happy that I’m a part of this beautiful congregation. I have met true friends. Thank you!

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