My 9-year-old granddaughter is homeschooled, but on Thursdays she goes to a “hybrid” school program with other homeschooled kids. This year she is in a class with mostly kids she didn’t know before. After the second week, I picked her up and she said it wasn’t as much fun as last year, because she didn’t fit in.
Car rides are the best places for heart-to-heart conversations. I assured her that she was a lot of fun and I strongly suspected that very soon she’d make new friends. I also listened to her pain. “They’re all into Pokemon,” she said. “And I don’t really like Pokemon.” A little while later she announced, “I have a good idea. I have a Pokemon Charmander doll. I’m going to bring that with me next week.”
The following week, after discussions with my very wise daughter, her mom, she was outfitted in her favorite “Nightmare Before Christmas” attire. Mom even made her a mask out of NBC fabric. “This is what I like,” she said. Rather than squirm to fit in, she chose to remain true to herself.
This week I picked her up. “Livvy and I are really good friends. We have so much in common. And Charlie is doing the same history curriculum I am.”
She still doesn’t like Pokemon.
I love seeing ways parents and grandparents do the parenting. I hear that you listen and validate then support.
I Applaud This tender youth of 9 years. She seems to know her mind and her Place in a complicated array of peer pressure, comparisons, dominating personalities etc… and the breakthrough came when she was confident enough to wear her own chosen character into a situation where there was no reserved spaces, or story line. She made her own space her own story.
I haven’t received Words of Wisdom in a few years. I’m glad to see it in my feed again.
Yes, we are very glad to be back.
Thank you, Denise.
Great story of a nine year old realizing that to be yourself is the best way to live.